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Fly-by-night butler Stevens, 42, died of love.

Butlers past includes nearly nothing.

By Hanna Sundqvist
The Illiterate/Ignorant Brat Organization (IBO) Post

Bobo Stevens, long-time Darlington Hall figure, died Monday night at Little Compton, Cornwall, from a severe heart attack.
Stevens, aged 42, in the mid-life-crisis, was to visit the love of his life, with the hope of enabling himself to seduce his becoming Mrs, named Miss Bibi Benn, but was, to his amazement, late. Miss Benn had already found her true love – a distinctively older man, named Mr Shag Pheffner, 75. As Stevens walked into Miss Benn’s room and saw Miss Benn picking out Mr Pheffner’s false teeth before having kissed him, Stevens heart ran into chock and he quickly got palpitations and later died from a coronary.

Stevens had for a long time been employed at Darlington Hall, with Mr Farraday as his present employee. In an interview Mr Farraday comment on Stevens death was: “Well… Stevens was a man on manner and dignity, but I found him rather dull…”

Stevens did, according to Mr Farraday, spend a great part of his life trying to accomplish perfection and becoming the perfect butler. But although this, Mr Farraday does reefer to Stevens as unreliable, and a bit scatterbrained.

After the death of Stevens, Mr Farraday weeded out Stevens belongings and found some memoirs written by Stevens himself, and according to these Stevens was merely confused for a five-month period before his death.

In his memoirs Stevens names silver polish “my only true friend” as well as he renames the silver itself to “my precious”. Stevens also writes about an old conference where he mixes up M. Dupont with Napoleon Bonaparte, and he renames Herr Karl-Heinz Bremann into Adolf Hitler.

Stevens also finds this certain conference of great importance for the future world, but in actuality it was nothing more than Lord Darlington’s private pyjamas party.

In an interview with Stevens long-gone mother, Miss Kazuo Stevens, who abandoned Stevens and his father for a different lifestyle in Chernobyl, Miss Stevens comments on Stevens mental health: “Little Bobo was never, not even as a kid, especially bright, so I ditched him for a genetically modified child that I bought on the internet.”

As a 20-year young man Stevens was employed as second phone-answering man at Darlington Hall, and after two years, was promoted to first phone-answering man, and this was seen, as “a great progress for me becoming the emperor of the world” according to Stevens himself, from his memoirs.

Stevens memoirs are about to be adapted for the screen, as well as published as a book, and this is to be made by his mother, Miss Kazuo, and her second child Ishiguro, as they both hold grief for Stevens passing away. The title is planned to be: “The Remains of the Day”.

The funeral for Stevens will be held at the attic of Darlington Hall, and after that, the remains of Stevens will be sent in an urn to be placed on the Hayes society’s top bookshelf.